- Home > Archive: September, 2012
I generally couldn’t care less about celebrity endorsements during elections. I’m not against them… but at the end of the day, I think that we need to pay attention to the politicians and not the celebrities.
And then I saw this… easily the best political ad I’ve ever seen. While Samuel L Jackson isn’t always at the top of my list of favourite actors, this absolutely works for him. And yes, if it sounds somewhat familiar, you’re probably thinking of his narrating of Go The Fuck to Sleep!
“You look horrible”.
Why thank you for your honesty…
That’s what Dr Lisa told me as she was taking some readings and trying to listen to my phlegm-filled lungs. I can’t be sure, but I think she was trying to tell me that I’ve looked better. But as bad as I may have looked, it was how I sounded that was really worrisome. I’ve never had such bad coughing bouts as I have the last 2 weeks, and it was all I could do to answer her questions without coughing thick gobs of guck in her face. I even had to ask Jess to drive me to my appointment because I wasn’t confident that I could drive without taking a bad coughing bout, which sometimes leads to dizziness and a feeling of nearly passing out. Bad enough when I’m holding onto a wall for support… Not so good in a SUV heading down the highway.
Lisa confirmed what I already knew. The antibiotics that the clinic doctor had given me were proving ineffective in my case. This was no simple infection. She prescribed something stronger, gave me a neat little puffer thing to blow steroids into my lungs, and ordered me to go to the hospital and have chest X-rays performed… and a test for whooping cough. Huh? Yeah well… just a precaution. And she gave me a few masks, telling me that I’d need to put one on as soon as I entered the hospital. Nothing says “Look at me!” quite like a guy sporting a surgical mask… but I think I pull off the look quite well.
Have you ever been tested for whooping cough? No? Well let me give you a sense of the fun you will experience if you ever find yourself in this position. They want to test your mucus, which is great, because I’ve got plenty of that! But taking it from a tissue would be too easy. No.. they want the real good stuff that’s hidden in places you don’t even know about. The respiratory technician explained it to me. “I need to push this small tube up into your nose quite far. It’s not painful, but it’s not very comfortable either.” OK.. that doesn’t sound like much fun at all… but compared to the camera they once shoved up my urethra to look at the inside of my bladder this should be a piece of cake. She was right. It was not a pleasant experience. That tube went up my nose, and then curled into my mouth somehow. It lasted only a couple of seconds and when it was done, I waited for my lollipop. Apparently there was none.
Today Dr Lisa called me to tell me that the X-rays confirm “extensive pneumonia” in my left lung. The whooping cough test results aren’t back yet, but rest assured… public health officials will be in contact if that comes back positive! I picture a scene from the movie Contagion in my living room. She asked me how I was doing today with regards to eating and sleeping. She’s concerned by my lack of appetite for the last 2 weeks, where I’ve been lucky if I ate more than 3 or 4 gingerbread cookies for the entire day. (But hey! At last count, I’m down 13 pounds!) And drink. Lots. Every 15 mins. Water, juice, even pop… just to get the fluids into me. This will be the one and only time that my doctor ever tells me to drink Coke… and you know what… I have no real appetite for that either. I bought some ginger ale because that’s supposed to be good for my tummy… but I wasn’t interested in Coke at all. That tells you how in the crapper I feel.
So right now the plan is to stay home. No work. No exertion. Plenty of rest. Plenty of fluids. And if I get worse at all, then it’s straight to the emergency room. Which would really suck. I have a thing with hospitals. I’m sure that most people do. But I’d really rather just cough up a lung here in the privacy of my own place, than do it there. So if that means drinking every 15 mins… so be it!
Speaking of which.. my water glass is empty.
I typically get one really good cold/flu bug every year. This year I’m on my second, and we’ve still got three and a half months of 2012 to get through! I’m not enjoying this 40 thing… not at all…
I’ve missed the last 2 days of work, and if tomorrow wasn’t Saturday, I think it would be safe to say that I wouldn’t be going into the office then either. My head is pounding… every little cough makes me want to cry… I wake up in sweats but freezing…. I don’t have much of an appetite… I ache… I’m 100 times crankier than normal… and just all round miserable.
But Jess is a trooper! She hasn’t smothered me yet, although I don’t get the feeling that this thing is running its course yet, so there’s still plenty of time left for her to do that. She’s doing her best to take care of her 40 year old big baby, while juggling everything else that life throws at her. I don’t know how she does it.
OK… back to bed…
Last year was the first year that I’d been in a position to purchase a ticket for the NB Hospital Home Lottery, and despite my best intentions… I did not win that home. In fact, I did not win a thing! That was a little disappointing, considering I had told people that the house was mine. Maybe I should have waited until after the draw? Well, have no fear! This year I am assured a winning ticket! I’d better win… I think Jess has already started changing her mailing address, and has address labels made up. 4 Crosswind Crescent, Rothesay. Oh it’ll be nice to move back to KV.
I sat down yesterday to purchase my tickets online. This year they have a new 5 pack for $375. I’d never be able to afford that on my own, but since we’re splitting the cost, it seemed like the way to go. Oh, and throw in a few of those 50-50 tickets too… let’s not be greedy!
Because the lottery is open to residents of New Brunswick only, they check your computer’s IP address to ensure that you are located within the borders of our Picture Province. Makes sense. What DOESN’T make sense is when it comes back and says that I’m ineligible to purchase tickets because I am not located within NB! Excuse me? I’m sitting in my office, overlooking foggy Saint John… probably within spitting distance of the office responsible for this draw. And it’s not like I’m using some proxy server to hide my location and show me in the Lithuanian country-side somewhere… it’s showing the proper Bell Aliant IP address and then saying that I’m not within NB, so I can not buy any tickets! Thankfully it also tells me that if I feel this is an error, that I can order my tickets over the phone, and gives me the number… a toll free number… AND the local Saint John number! So I called.
I explained what had happened, and got a “Oh, well depending on what ISP you’re using….” I stopped him right there. “I’m with Bell Aliant, and it’s showing the proper IP address… I’m in Saint John!” I wonder how many people will just not bother to call in if they get that message? I imagine a few, but this lottery always seems to sell all their tickets, so I don’t imagine that it will change that.
If you haven’t gotten your tickets yet, you should get them before November 8, which is the deadline for the early bird draw. Even though you don’t have a chance for the house (that’s mine, remember) there are still some other great prizes available for you.. like vacations, vehicles, electronics and more! But forget about the house. Although feel free to swing by 4 Crosswind Crescent in Rothesay sometime to say hello. But only after Dec 4 or 27th… I’m not sure why those dates are so far apart, but that’s fine. Gives me time to get my stuff moved in!
Yesterday I pondered the question of whether Breaking Bad is the best TV show ever. Today I’m going in a very different direction… Have you seen Here Comes Honey Boo Boo? I’d never even heard of this show until Jess mentioned it to me the other night. It plays on TLC (more on that later!) and is a spin-off of Toddlers & Tiaras, a reality show about very young girls in beauty pageants, and their crazy mothers who need their heads examined. Apparently one of the families from the original Toddlers & Tiaras was so interesting that TLC decided to give them their own show. And they say quality television is hard to find.
After about 10 minutes of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, I had to turn it off. If you had asked me how I felt at the time, I would have said that it was an uncomfortable mixture of disgust, anger, and sadness. Here is a family so completely different from anything I’ve ever known… I was initially in shock by what I saw. Was it entertaining? Not at all. Jess had warned me that it was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. You don’t want to watch, but you can’t pull your eyes away. You have to see what happens next. But I couldn’t do it. I felt sad for the little girl (Honey Boo Boo, by the way) who is too young to realize that she doesn’t have a hope in hell of ever winning one of these pageants and is simply on TV because people are laughing at her and her family. I was angry with the mother for exploiting her family… and worse, disgusted with TLC and the current culture of “lowest common denominator” when it comes to what gets on TV and what doesn’t. How many GOOD television shows have been axed because they cost too much to produce and/or didn’t achieve the instant audience demanded by TV executives? And then this filth is allowed to air? Disgusting.
I can’t cast blame solely at TLC. Every network does it. And why the hell not? Nearly 3 million people tuned in to watch Episode 4. What does that tell you?
One last thing… TLC… I used to believe that TLC stood for The Learning Channel. What are people learning from this? It’s part of the Discovery network, which is generally some pretty decent programming. But when I look at the current line-up on TLC I see titles like Long Island Medium, 19 Kids and Counting, and My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding…
Can someone please tell me what we’re supposed to be learning from this?
Makes me miss Breaking Bad even more…
I’ve seen a lot of talk in the blogosphere lately about AMC’s Breaking Bad being the best show on TV… or the best dramatic series ever… or even the best TV series ever. Period! That’s a pretty tall order, and I don’t think that we’re ever going to have a consensus on that. How do you decide the best ANYTHING? Surely there must be a better litmus test than sitting in your parents’ basement, eating stale Cheetos and debating with your drunken friends as to why the Toronto Maple Leaf’s are the best hockey team ever… The Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie of all time… and Ginger is obviously the best Spice Girl… I mean c’mon.. Just look at her! None of the other girls can rock the Union Jack like that! Oh Gingie… Spice up my life!
But I digress…
I was a little late getting to the Breaking Bad party, which was great because I got to watch nearly an entire three seasons back to back… and it was AWESOME! To watch the transformation of Walter White from awkward science teacher into a methamphetamine cook… and eventually into his badass alter-ego, Heisenberg… the show is damn near brilliant! And if you’re one of those people who might be a little wary of wanting to watch the show because you remember Bryan Cranston as Malcom in the Middle‘s Dad.. oh boy… Walter White is so far removed from Hal that you will almost instantly forget about his previous work. Remember what I said? BADASS.
I’m reluctant to go into any real details here because I don’t want to ruin anything for the people who are not caught up. Needless to say, it’s going to be a long wait until the second half of Season 5 picks up in 2013.
One thing’s for certain… if Coca-Cola doesn’t issue a set of collectable Heisenberg cans, I am going to be sorely disappointed!!