I’m buying a house. If everything falls into place May 16 I will take ownership of a nice bungalow and begin moving my life forward.
I’ve had more than a few people say how happy they are for me… yet they seem more excited about this than I am. That’s because it’s true. I’m buying a house. It’s a great house. But it’s still just a house. I know that I will enjoy living in it. I know that my kids will love it. I assume that over time my feelings toward it will shift. I hope so.
Please do not think that I am ungrateful. I understand that there are people reading this who maybe are not in a position to buy a house, and would love to be announcing that they are. I understand that. I am fortunate enough to have crawled back from near-financial and personal ruin, and am now seeing some positive results. But do not be fooled by the illusion. I’d trade it all for a leaky cardboard box if that box felt like home. Don’t believe me? Oh I think that there might be one or two of you who do.
I gave up looking for a home. It just wasn’t going to happen. So I settled for a house. It’s a means to an end. A way to get closer to my kids. To see them more. To be a better parent. I don’t deny that there are real benefits to buying this house. But it’s a bittersweet moment for me. This entire process has created an empty void, and that’s not going to be filled by a structure, no matter how seemingly perfect it may appear to some people.
Excited? Not even a little.