Every year you bring me socks. And every year I wear holes through them like they’re swiss cheese. Thankfully, I don’t think they ever smell like swiss cheese! So I’m not even sure if it’s worth my time adding this to my list, but hey… better to be safe than sorry.
And just a little reminder, Santa… I’m a man. I need men’s socks. Preferably size 10 1/2, but I realize that these things come in ranges of size. There must have been a mix-up at the distribution centre last year, or else I really pissed off one of your elves, because the socks you brought me were women’s socks, and way too small to even attempt wearing. Thankfully there were no pom-poms on the heels. That might have been embarrassing.
Anyway Santa, I hate to bore you with the same old, same old… but my sock drawer is looking a little light on matching pairs of holeless white socks. It’s gotten so bad that I’m just happy if I can find two “whiteish” socks without holes. I ignore the fact that one might have a grey pattern on the heel, or the toe. A white sock, is a white sock, is a white sock… right? Well apparently not everyone agrees with us, Santa.
So please… spare me the pain of having to hear once again “Those do not match!” and bring me some socks for Christmas.