So I’ve been doing some reading into the whole “cholesterol” thing, and I’ve come to a conclusion…
I am going to die!
OK, maybe not yet… but looking at all the foods that raise my bad cholesterol, vs all the foods that help decrease it… Yeah, it’s hardly a wonder that I’m having problems. It’s more of a shock that it’s taken almost 40 years to get to this point!
Let’s look at some of the bad foods:
Yup… I’m screwed!
But wait! Apparently there are foods that can counter the bad cholesterol and give me hope. All I have to do is stop eating everything that I like, and start eating everything that tastes like… fiber? Apparently fiber binds itself to the cholesterol, so it doesn’t stick to the inside of my arteries. So… how much bran or oatmeal can I eat before my bowels are pristine? Not sure, but it looks like I’m about to find out. Of course, when they say “oatmeal” I don’t think that they are including the maple brown sugar variety that I like. Crap.
Now let’s look at some of the good foods:
Rumour has it that exercise is also key to lowering your cholesterol. I can not confirm or deny this, but I am willing to bet that it can not hurt. Well, it will hurt on the outside. But only for a little bit. Then my nerves will go numb and it will no longer hurt! Or I’ll start to get used to it. Pick one.