This may very well turn out to be one of those posts that I regret writing, but at this moment in time, I really don’t care. It’s been one hell of a miserable day. A variety of things have gone wrong, and that doesn’t even include Hurricane Irene which is slowly moving up the coast, and expected to arrive sometime through the night. Mother Nature I can handle… it’s Life that seems to want to drag me down.
This will be the last time that I mention this. I’ve been told to move on, and I don’t have any choice in the matter. What’s done is done.
For the last couple of years I have basically put a large chunk of my life on hold, waiting for fate to do what it does, and make things right. Fate brought us together… Fate was supposed to fix the unfixable and correct our course. Over that time I’ve met a great many people who I’ve managed to push away, all because I was waiting for something (or someone) to change. I was wrong. People don’t change. We are who we are.
In the end, what drove us apart is exactly what brought us together. I’m emotional. Irrational. Impulsive. While these traits were endearing when She allowed Her emotional side to show through… Once those walls were up again, they only served to drive a wedge between us as we tried to define a friendship based solely around our close employment proximity. Good luck with that. It’s been a constant back and forth of hellishness and false dreams.
I received word today that we will very likely be working more closely now. This is not good. It’s time to make that jump.
I gave up nearly 3 years of my life for someone… Because I truly believed that everything we had told each other was real… and when She finally figured out Her life…
Who’s the Fool now?
I wish Her well… It’s all I can do now…