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Not Optimal Weight

Published July 16, 2011 - 15 Comments

I had a regularly scheduled doctor’s appointment yesterday.  Every couple of months Dr Lisa likes me to come in and make sure that I’m still alive.  This was one of those checkups.  As soon as she walked through the door and asked me how I was, I replied honestly…

“I’m falling apart.  Physically… I’m just falling apart.”

I told her that I’ve had a painfully swollen ankle since May, and figured that it was because of the new drug that she had put me on for my blood pressure.  At the time, she had warned me that I might get puffy ankles.  I wasn’t overly concerned when my left one got very sore, and puffed up a little.  It wasn’t huge or anything like that, but it was noticeably larger than the other when you put the two of them together.

Seems that the puffiness that I’ve been experiencing is not what she was warning me about.  I’ve got a problem with my ankle that is unrelated to that.  She’s sending me for X-rays to rule out a problem with the bone (it hurts), but she’s thinking that it’s more than likely related to my flat feet, and lack of decent footwear.  But there’s also another possibility… she asked me if I had any problems with my big toe.

“They’re ugly”

She laughed…   I am so glad that we’ve got a unique chemistry.  But other than being ugly… have I had any problems with them?  I have not.  She then went on to explain that she wanted a blood test to rule out gout… and then she said:

“People with high blood pressure and… not optimal weight… can be more susceptible to gout.”  She paused noticeably trying to find the right wording…

I started to laugh… “NOT OPTIMAL WEIGHT?  Is that your politically correct way of saying that I’m not fat.. but I’m not of optimal weight?”  I had her there.

We talked a little more, and she suggested a tighter sock… and then she said “I don’t imagine that I can get you to wear a stocking, so I won’t ask for that.”

“Hey”, I said with a laugh… “I wore a scrotal support for a couple of weeks, so anything’s possible!”

She just shook her head, and kicked me out of the room and told me to come back in September…