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Shattered – Turn This Fucking Car Around

Published April 19, 2011 - 2 Comments

I’m listening to that great song from O.A.R.   …  Shattered

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can’t define what I’m after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time but I’m shattered
I always turn the car around

The mechanic called me today to discuss the car situation.  I’d be lying if I said that I understood much of what he said, but apparently something had become separated in the brake assembly.  It’s probably sitting on the highway somewhere, along with all the fluid that escaped.  He says that I still should have been able to apply limited brakes.  I assured him that I certainly could not.  Nothing was going to stop that car, short of another car or a  wall.  Essentially I had a catastrophic failure of my braking system.  But it was nothing that a couple hundred dollars couldn’t fix.

While I had him on the phone I said “You might as well do my yearly oil change too, while you have the car there.  Oh, and can you do me a favour?  There’s a pair of windshield wipers in the trunk… can you put those on for me?  I know how to do it, but I’ve been waiting for a nice warm day…  and my driver’s side low beam might be misaligned because people occasionally flash their high beams at me, and I’ve noticed that it seems to be pointing a little upward…   Just make sure that you bill me for all of this!”

A couple of hours later I had the call I’d been dreading.  “Your car’s ready. The bill is $237.”

I was surprised that it was that low, but I couldn’t resist toying with him…  I said “I’m not paying that!”

“Fine” he said, “I’ll just keep the car”

“Good luck.  It’s not worth that much!  Except that there’s a 2/3 tank of gas there, so that’s probably worth more than the car.”

My mechanic appreciates my humour.

As usual, I made the cheque out for a little extra.  I appreciate the fact that he takes care of my automotive needs.  He understands how inept I am, and doesn’t try to soak me for a bunch of stuff that I don’t need.  In return I answer his computer questions, and always give  him a few dollars more.  Since I’ve been going to him, I have no doubt in my mind that I’ve saved thousands of dollars.  I used to take my cars to Canadian Tire.  Yeah… I know what you’re thinking.  And you would be correct.

Oh, and apparently when I had installed the low beam back in the fall, I had somehow managed to get it in there upside down.  That’s quite a feat.

I am sooo not mechanical in the least…