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Interesting Blog Searches in 2010

Published January 18, 2011 - 0 Comments

I’ve poured through hundreds of search terms from Google Analytics, and narrowed the list down to my favourite 20 or so.  I have to laugh when I look at the things that people are searching for in Google and get pointed to my blog.  People have A LOT of spare time on their hands!

There were the usual searches for the Yahoo Airmiles toolbar being broken, the PC Children’s Charity Cameron Bear, and the Unfriendly Giant… But I was looking for some truly unique searches, and this is what I found.  In no particular order, these are some of the exact search terms, spelling mistakes included:

  • i hit a crow windshield omen  What?  OK, sure, I blogged about hitting the stupidest crow ever with my car, and mentioned that there’s probably a curse on me now… but hard to believe that someone actually went searching for that particular term… I really wish that they had left a comment on the blog!
  • donair dreams  I love my donairs.  I do.  But do I dream about them?  Umm… no…   Apparently someone does though!
  • plenty of fish sucks  This really isn’t all that unique, but I wanted to illustrate that I am not alone in my thinking that the “World’s Largest Free Online Dating Site” has some work to do.
  • quarter-pounder guy  I’ve been called a lot of things in my lifetime… come to think of it, quarter-pounder guy may have even been one of them!  I hope that whoever was searching for this term found something of use on my blog!
  • all i want for christmas is my bp check  This one is a little weird… I know that I was writing a series before Christmas called “All I Want For Christmas Is…”  I guess someone really wants some money from BP.  I can only assume that they’re affected by the tiny oil glitch in the Gulf.  I hope that Santa didn’t disappoint!
  • blog titles for bad vacations  I don’t know about you, but I didn’t have a bad vacation last year.  I guess someone must have, though!
  • can i see a cystoscopy being performed on a man  Umm….  ewwwwwww…
  • corrythegreat  No idea who Corry is, or why they’re great.  I can see StephentheGreat being a search term, but this one baffles me a little…
  • cystoscopy man video  OK, what is the fascination with shoving a camera up a man’s penis to explore whatever is hidden up there?
  • luxury living  Yeah, I’m guessing whoever was searching for this didn’t stay on the blog very long.  There ain’t no such thing as luxury living here!
  • making cystoscopy tolerable  At least this one makes sense.  My suggestion.  Rum.  Lots of rum.  And a couple of cute nurses.
  • modesty in childbirth  Haha… Good luck with that!
  • moncton tire being slash  Wasn’t me!  I didn’t do it!  Great grammar, btw…
  • my dynes tv is making a funny smell is that bad  First of all, it’s a Dynex tv.  Helps to get the brand name correct.  Second, yeah… a funny smell is probably not a good thing.  Did you really have to go to Google to find out?  Maybe you shouldn’t have a tv.  Open a book instead.  Something with pictures.
  • no modesty during cystoscopy  Ain’t that the truth!
  • smurfs characters  Ah, here we go!  Did I mention that Katy Perry is doing the voice of Smurfette in the new 3D movie coming out?   🙂
  • sobey’s chickpeas  I can only assume that there is a girl somewhere nearby flooding Google with crazy chickpea searches.  Just a girl…
  • sytycd bum dance  I remember this one!  Nice bum!  🙂
  • what is it like to live in saint john Let me sum it up in one word… COLD!
  • when can you eat lady ashburn pickles  Any time you feel like it!  As long as there is another jar on the shelf, and you’re not just eating them with cheese.  Please… show some respect for Lady A.
  • where did the saying squab, squab, squab  Despite the poorly worded search term, I actually understand what they were searching for!  Remember the Two and a Half Men episode about Squab?  I do!
  • why is jessica lee singing “good to you” and not kate voegele?  That is an excellent question!  Do let me know if you ever figure out the answer to that one.  While you’re at it, why not ask the boys at Marianas Trench why they chose to make such a horrible video for a beautiful song.  I’m sticking with the Kate version.  It’s amazing.

Well there you have it, folks.  Those are just a few of the weird and wonderful search terms put into Google that were directed to my blog!

Curious to see what next year brings.

Bring on the Fat!

Published August 20, 2009 - 3 Comments

I stepped onto the scale on Monday evening.  Hmm… up 5 pounds from the previous Monday.  Normally I weigh myself in the morning, so perhaps that was part of it.  Oh wait!  Nah.. it was the return of the McDonalds diet.  Yes, that was more than likely the culprit. 

I doubt that the 3/4 lb Greco donair helped much either, but that was a mistake.  I had forgotten that they added the larger donair to their menu.  I’m so used to saying “Give me the biggest donair that you’ve got” and getting the 1/2 lb version, that I instinctively used those same words this time.  It should have been a hint when he said “That’ll be $10.71”   That’s quite the donair!

Ugh.  I brought it back to the office, and proceeded to make it my personal challenge for the remainder of the night.  When I was about half way through it, I had to come up for air.  This thing was killing my desire to live.  But it would only get worse as the night went on.  At the end of the day, rampant hunger prevailed and I reigned supreme as the victor! There can be only one!

So it should not have come as a huge surprise when my weight was up again.  It’s not like I’ve been anywhere near the gym again.  Oh wait… I walk by it on the way to work.  Oops..  So I have been near it.  I just haven’t been IN it. 

And here I am tonight.  I had the munchies, and the only thing open is the damn 24 hour McDonalds.  I’ve developed an appreciation of the Big Mac.  I’ve always been a Quarter Pounder guy, but I’d grown tired of those.  Well, let the Big Mac take its place for a bit.  Yummy.

  • Big Mac   540 calories
  • Large Fries   560 calories  (wow)
  • Med Coke   220 calories

Grand total   1310 calories.

So essentially I can’t eat until Friday afternoon sometime.[ad#AdBrite]