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Cards Against Humanity: Discover How Horrible Your Friends REALLY Are!

Published July 23, 2014 - 3 Comments
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What is Batman’s Guilty Pleasure?

I’ve heard some people compare Cards Against Humanity  to the game of Apples to Apples… only for really bad people!  That comparison is lost on me, as I’ve never even heard of Apple to Apples but a quick look in Wikipedia shows me that there are some similarities.  Except for the really bad part.  Seriously, if you think I’m joking… I’m not!

The idea behind Cards Against Humanity is simple:  One person has a deck of black cards with questions on them.  The other players are each dealt 10 random white cards.  These are the answer cards.  The card czar (initially determined by who last pooped, btw!) draws a random question card, and each of the other players submit whatever white card they feel makes the best answer.  The card czar then chooses the best one, and that person gets a point.  Do whatever you want with the points because it’s not really who wins… but whether or not you can look people in the eye after a game of Cards Against Humanity!

This game is for adults, but that doesn’t mean that every adult is going to enjoy it.  If you’re squeamish about off-colour jokes or don’t want to imagine your grandmother naked, tentacle porn, or two midgets shitting in a bucket… well… Cards Against Humanity might not be for you.

Why is Mommy crying?

Why is Mommy crying?

But if you’re like a lot of us, then you will probably laugh so uncontrollably hard that tears flow, your gut hurts, and you begin to question your own humanity.  And hey, you might even learn something!  More than a few times we had to stop and look up something because it was a term we were unfamiliar with.  (Queefing = uncontrollable release of air from the vagina after the penis is removed during sex = pussy farts!  Who knew?!)  And if you think that it’s all just a bunch of naughty words, well there’s more to it than that.  Sometimes the most random card wins the round.  Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine?  Got it.  Passive aggressive Post-it Notes?  Been there!  Cuddling?  Awwwww…  It really does take all kinds, and it’s up to the card czar to decide which answer is the “best”.

Probably the best thing about Cards Against Humanity is that it can go on forever.  They have several expansion packs, and even include blank cards that you can use to write your own questions / answers on.  (For a current list of my own ideas for Cards Against Humanity, click here)  Even better, they make their game available for download from their website so you don’t have to spend a penny if you don’t want to!  Well, you’re going to want to print the sheets, and maybe get them put onto cardboard, so that will cost something.  But the game itself is free.  Me, I chose to support them and order mine, but it’s nice to have the option.

So next time you’re sitting around bored on a Saturday night, why not call a few friends over for a game of Cards Against Humanity? Just remember to check any sense of decency or morality at the door because you aren’t going to need it!  Enjoy!

The Babble of Scrabble

Published April 16, 2010 - 1 Comment

I’ve discovered something over the last couple of weeks.  I suck at Scrabble.  No, I mean I REALLY suck at Scrabble.  I generally consider myself to be a fairly good writer, with a decent vocabulary, but when it comes to visualizing patterns of words from the mumble jumble of tiled letters… I have a lot of difficulty with that.  I’m actually quite happy if I can manage to construct a 4 letter word, while my opponents are regularly forming words of 5, 6 or more letters in length.  I suspect that the side of my brain that also makes it difficult for me to read a map, make any sense out of blue prints, or even guess with any accuracy the size of container to use for leftovers is probably to blame for my limited ability to see words within all those tiled letters.

Maybe it’s something that you can learn, but after nearly 38 years I’m prepared to admit that I’m probably a lost cause.  My ex was always far better at packing than I ever was.  My co-workers can glance at the building schematic and know instantly which fire alarm sensor is in trouble.  More than once I’ve had to pour leftovers from one container into another because I had guessed wrong.  And don’t even bother to ask me to assemble something from directions!

I can remember writing the “idiot test” for my job back in 2000.  If I remember correctly, it was probably 200-250 questions covering a wide array of topics, with an insanely short amount of time to complete it.  There were math problems, reading for comprehension questions, letter or word pattern questions, and then the dreaded “What shape would this box look like if it was unfolded?” questions, with one or more sides shaded, and then 4 possible answers.  I skipped those.  I didn’t even bother to attempt those because they would only slow me down, which was probably the best answer.  Recognize your strengths and weaknesses, and move on accordingly.  Oh, I got the job.

I’m painfully reminded of that weakness as I look at my current Scrabble record: 1 win, 7 losses.  In most instances the losses aren’t even close.  I’ve given up blaming the luck of the tiles.  There is a consistent pattern forming…  I’m good at many things…

Scrabble ain’t one of them!