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Earlier this month I wrote about being asked whether I was interested in creating a video to showcase a product from Belkin called the WeMo Motion + Switch. It was exciting to be asked, but a little daunting at the same time. I’ve never made anything other than silly little single shot videos. This was something that would require multiple shots and editing. I know the iMac is capable of it, but I’m sure not!
The concept changed a few times until I sat down yesterday in my newly creepified living room, and started shooting. It was fun! I wrote a script. Recorded it. Moved my props around repeatedly while going back and checking the camera viewing range. I even rigged a giant spider from the ceiling that I could lower during the filming! I shot my little film in different filters, with different results. Finally I settled on some rough footage that I was satisfied would just have to do.
Then Jess came home.
Neither one of us are graphic artists, but she has a knack for these things that I definitely do not possess. She took the raw footage, added overlaying audio files, a trailer and credits. She took my chunk of rock and turned it into a polished jewel worthy of an Academy Award!
Kate Upton will now present the award for Best Director to… Stephen Belyea! I’d just like to thank all the people who poured their heart and soul into this project, my fans, my mother and father who stood with me all these years, my sister, my beautiful children, my agent… wait! Stop the music, I’m not done! There are still people I need to thank! My agent, oh I said that already. Umm.. my publicist… all the people at wardrobe.. my hair stylist.. Oh God! Don’t forget about Him! Wait! Wait! Thank you, Academy! I love you. Good night!”
OK Santa… with less than a week to go, we’re getting into crunch time now. I know that it might be a little late to try to slip something like this onto my Christmas list, but hey… you can’t blame a guy for trying! Besides, I’m still waiting for Scarlett Johansson from my 2010 wish list…
This time last year, I don’t think that any of us really knew who Kate Upton even was. Then a little something called “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition” was published with a buxom blonde on the cover. And suddenly the entire world took notice of Kate. (Oh, if you’re wondering why I didn’t include the S.I. cover picture… I like it… but I love the GQ cover more… naughty Kate)
Now here’s the ridiculous thing Santa… some people have criticized Miss Upton for being “fat”. WHAT?! Apparently in the super model world, if you don’t… what’s the word… emaciate yourself… then you’re not considered a worthy member of the club.
Thankfully Kate has stated very publicly that she loves her curves, and has no plans to starve herself to fit into some preconceived notion of beauty. And I, for one, support her decision!
So… Dear Santa… let’s face it… I haven’t exactly been good all year… I may not have been good for even most of it… but surely there must be SOMETHING that I’ve done that can take me off the naughty list.. even if only for a day! I helped that nice old man find the animal section in the store moments ago… I pushed that nice Chinese student’s car out of the snow last night… I’ve changed, Santa… PEOPLE CAN CHANGE, SANTA!
So there it is… Santa… you.. me.. Kate… c’mon.. help a brother out… ‘Tis the Season!