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Adventures in Lawn Mowing – Part 2

Published June 23, 2014 - 0 Comments

homer-phone-300x291“Thank you for calling MTD Canada.  Please enter the Canadian Tire model number of the lawn mower you are inquiring about.  This number may begin with a zero, and may contain a dash.  If it contains two dashes, please enter the numbers priot to the second dash.”

WTF?!? It may begin with a zero?   I need something a little more defnitive than it may begin with a zero.  What if it doesn’t?  I don’t see any numbers that start with zero on the mower!  And what’s this thing about it may contain a dash, but if it contains TWO dashes then input the numbers before the second dash.  What if it doesn’t contain a dash? What if it has THREE dashes?  OK.. here’s a number… it starts with a six.  Wonderful… let’s try it.

“That number is invalid.  Please enter the number again or wait for instructions on where to locate your model number.”

OK… this should be interesting…

“Your model number is located in three locations – on your Canadian Tire receipt, on the original packaging, and on your user manual.  This number may begin with a zero…”

You’ve got to be kidding  me.  The receipt?  The original packaging?  You know where a good place to put the model number might be???  On the fucking lawn mower!

After searching through old user manuals, I finally found the one in question… only to discover that the model number listed on the cover was the exact same number that I had tried earlier from the mower.  I had forgotten one of the rules!  It didn’t start with zero, but it DID contain TWO dashes, so I needed to use only the numbers before the second dash.  Finally after putting the right model number…

“Thank you for calling MTD Canada.  Our offices are currently closed.  Please call back Monday-Friday 8am-5pm EST”

It’s a wonder I didn’t light that mower on fire and push it over the nearest cliff.


Adventures in Lawn Mowing – Part 1

Published June 20, 2014 - 4 Comments
Happy Happy Happy

Happy Happy Happy

Sure wish that *I* could mow my lawn right now.  I’d be as happy as that clown.  But no… my lawn is starting to look like something out of Jurassic Park.  There could be a new species hiding among the overgrowth and we’d never know.  Why?  Because I have two lawn mowers and both of them are currently pieces of shit paper weights!

One mower (I’ll call it my Yardworks) doesn’t have the side chute deflector.  I haven’t used that mower in a couple of years, so I have no idea where that piece is.  I’ll get back to this one in a bit.

The other mower (I’ll call that one my Craftsman) came with the house, and was a pretty good one until it went up against a tree stump.  Stump 1.  Mower 0.

So I have one mower with an extremely bent blade, and another that can’t eject the grass clippings and stalls immediately.  This will never do.  My neighbours are all zipping around in their fancy ride-on mowers and probably asking themselves what is going on at the Shorbel.  Well stop asking, and get over here and mow it!  Because that is highly unlikely to happen, I have decided to go with Plan B:  repairing one or both of my mowers.  If you know anything about me, you know that when it comes to repairs, unless it has a keyboard, I’m useless.  But hey, I have Youtube… how hard could this be?