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Interesting Blog Searches in 2010

Published January 18, 2011 - 0 Comments

I’ve poured through hundreds of search terms from Google Analytics, and narrowed the list down to my favourite 20 or so.  I have to laugh when I look at the things that people are searching for in Google and get pointed to my blog.  People have A LOT of spare time on their hands!

There were the usual searches for the Yahoo Airmiles toolbar being broken, the PC Children’s Charity Cameron Bear, and the Unfriendly Giant… But I was looking for some truly unique searches, and this is what I found.  In no particular order, these are some of the exact search terms, spelling mistakes included:

  • i hit a crow windshield omen  What?  OK, sure, I blogged about hitting the stupidest crow ever with my car, and mentioned that there’s probably a curse on me now… but hard to believe that someone actually went searching for that particular term… I really wish that they had left a comment on the blog!
  • donair dreams  I love my donairs.  I do.  But do I dream about them?  Umm… no…   Apparently someone does though!
  • plenty of fish sucks  This really isn’t all that unique, but I wanted to illustrate that I am not alone in my thinking that the “World’s Largest Free Online Dating Site” has some work to do.
  • quarter-pounder guy  I’ve been called a lot of things in my lifetime… come to think of it, quarter-pounder guy may have even been one of them!  I hope that whoever was searching for this term found something of use on my blog!
  • all i want for christmas is my bp check  This one is a little weird… I know that I was writing a series before Christmas called “All I Want For Christmas Is…”  I guess someone really wants some money from BP.  I can only assume that they’re affected by the tiny oil glitch in the Gulf.  I hope that Santa didn’t disappoint!
  • blog titles for bad vacations  I don’t know about you, but I didn’t have a bad vacation last year.  I guess someone must have, though!
  • can i see a cystoscopy being performed on a man  Umm….  ewwwwwww…
  • corrythegreat  No idea who Corry is, or why they’re great.  I can see StephentheGreat being a search term, but this one baffles me a little…
  • cystoscopy man video  OK, what is the fascination with shoving a camera up a man’s penis to explore whatever is hidden up there?
  • luxury living  Yeah, I’m guessing whoever was searching for this didn’t stay on the blog very long.  There ain’t no such thing as luxury living here!
  • making cystoscopy tolerable  At least this one makes sense.  My suggestion.  Rum.  Lots of rum.  And a couple of cute nurses.
  • modesty in childbirth  Haha… Good luck with that!
  • moncton tire being slash  Wasn’t me!  I didn’t do it!  Great grammar, btw…
  • my dynes tv is making a funny smell is that bad  First of all, it’s a Dynex tv.  Helps to get the brand name correct.  Second, yeah… a funny smell is probably not a good thing.  Did you really have to go to Google to find out?  Maybe you shouldn’t have a tv.  Open a book instead.  Something with pictures.
  • no modesty during cystoscopy  Ain’t that the truth!
  • smurfs characters  Ah, here we go!  Did I mention that Katy Perry is doing the voice of Smurfette in the new 3D movie coming out?   🙂
  • sobey’s chickpeas  I can only assume that there is a girl somewhere nearby flooding Google with crazy chickpea searches.  Just a girl…
  • sytycd bum dance  I remember this one!  Nice bum!  🙂
  • what is it like to live in saint john Let me sum it up in one word… COLD!
  • when can you eat lady ashburn pickles  Any time you feel like it!  As long as there is another jar on the shelf, and you’re not just eating them with cheese.  Please… show some respect for Lady A.
  • where did the saying squab, squab, squab  Despite the poorly worded search term, I actually understand what they were searching for!  Remember the Two and a Half Men episode about Squab?  I do!
  • why is jessica lee singing “good to you” and not kate voegele?  That is an excellent question!  Do let me know if you ever figure out the answer to that one.  While you’re at it, why not ask the boys at Marianas Trench why they chose to make such a horrible video for a beautiful song.  I’m sticking with the Kate version.  It’s amazing.

Well there you have it, folks.  Those are just a few of the weird and wonderful search terms put into Google that were directed to my blog!

Curious to see what next year brings.

Plenty of Fish Sucks – Becomes a Wishing Pond

Published December 13, 2010 - 4 Comments

The online dating site Plenty of Fish has long claimed to be the largest free site of its kind.  Period.  So imagine my surprise when I logged in to check something and noticed that I was being asked for one credit to unlock the ability to see whether a sent message had been read or not.

Huh?  This was new!

And just how much is one credit?  8 cents.

8 cents?!?  And this wasn’t 8 cents for each message… this was 8 cents to permanently unlock the “feature” to see whether my message had been read.  8 cents…

I was more than annoyed!  I’m sure most people are thinking “It’s 8 cents, buddy… what’s the big deal?”  Well, I’ll tell you what the big deal is…

Plenty of Fish is supposed to be a FREE online dating site!  Even now, if you look at their site, they still claim to be free.  Well, obviously they’re not!  It’s not like they are adding features to their existing site, and then charging optional fees for their use!  No, they are crippling their existing features by charging a measly token fee to unlock what used to be free.  Who cares if it’s only 8 cents?  That’s even more of a slap in the face!  Apparently you can’t just buy 1 credit… no, that’s the sheer evil genius of their plan… you have to buy blocks of credits, effectively forcing you to spend far more than 8 cents, and then finding something else to waste your leftover credits on… like sending a virtual cake to an online love interest.

Someone suggested that maybe they should have looked at grandfathering in existing accounts, and implementing the fee on new members only.  That’s certainly one solution.  If you’re new to the site, then you’re not going to miss what you never had.  I think it’s a major disservice to existing members to ask them to pay for something as fundamental as seeing the status of a sent message.  I also wonder if this is simply the beginning of a series of planned changes for the online dating site.  This month you pay to see whether your message has been read.  Next month you pay for the ability to send a message.  And why not?  You’ve already bought a block of 100 points, and still have 99 left.  You might as well use them for something!

What gets me the most is that they still proudly claim to be the largest free online dating site.

This is one lil fish leaving the big pond!

Do Online Dating Sites Really Work?

Published June 15, 2010 - 7 Comments
Online Dating

This is a re-posting of an article that I wrote for another blog last year.

Internet dating is not new. In fact, it’s been around for years, and is now a booming multi-million dollar business.  But does it actually work?  I guess that depends on your definition of success.  If seeking a chat partner or quick hookup is your thing, then online dating sites might be perfect for you.  If you’re interested in finding your illusive soul mate, chances are you’d better be prepared to put a little effort into the process.

There are many online dating sites available, such as eHarmony, LavaLife, and Plenty of Fish, Match.com, MatchMaker.com, PerfectMatch.com, Chemistry.com and others.  I won’t get into the pros and cons of each of these today.  I’ll leave that for another time.

But I did want to point out a couple of important things to remember if you’re serious about using these sites for something other than a quick pickup.

The first lesson you should learn is when you create your own online profile, resist the temptation to stretch the truth a little.  It’s not an easy thing to do (resisting the urge, that is).  But remember, if you’re interested in finding someone for more than a quick fling, starting your budding relationship off with a series of little white lies isn’t going to build the best foundation.  So be honest about your likes and dislikes, what motivates you, and of course the almighty physical description.  Best to leave those old pictures of you for the photo album.

The next thing to keep in mind is to actually READ the profiles of prospective soulmates.  Too many times, people use a shotgun approach, whereby they write a standard initial message, and send it to as many people as they can, without actually taking time to read the other person’s profile.  This approach is quick and pointless.  It’s one thing to cast your net wide, but it’s quite another to be so incredibly lazy.  You will find it much more rewarding to read through the prospective profiles, and select the ones you may find interesting.  Then write a personalized greeting, based in part on what you read.  Don’t be afraid to be unique!  People who use these sites are generally used to getting solicited repeated in cookie-cutter fashion.  If you don’t want your initial greeting to be ignored (or worse, unread) then break away from the pack and be creative.  Positive comments on the person’s profile show that you’ve taken the time to read it, and go a long way to getting past the initial message block.

After that, anything can happen.  But remember, always be true to yourself, play by the rules, and be safe.