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What Happens in Vegas, Stays in.. Wait a Moment! This Ain’t Vegas!

Published June 14, 2010 - 6 Comments

I needed to get away this weekend.  I really needed to get away.  And where do I typically go when I’m in need of a change of scenery?  Moncton!  So I got ahold of my buddy there, made sure I wouldn’t be sleeping with the dog, and packed my bags.  It was Friday at lunch.  I wanted to be there well before supper, and kick my feet up while enjoying the sweet taste of Smirnoff Ice (my substitute for beer).  I know that people make fun of those coolers, but they do have some kick to them!  By the end of the second, I was feeling pretty good about things.

The plan (if you can call it that) was to just sort of take it easy.  I didn’t want another night of idiocy.  I’ve reached my quota for 2010 already.  No, I wanted a nice relaxing evening…  maybe play a little online poker… perhaps watch a movie… listen to some Unfriendly Giant…   Oh yes… I tortured my good friend with 24 back-to-back episodes of the newly discovered treat.  I dare say that he did not appear to enjoy it nearly as much as I did, but hey…  you can’t please everybody.

As the night wore on, it was evident that my plan was never going to hold.  By my fifth Smirnoff Ice, I was craving an experience of a different kind.  As luck would have it, my buddy knew exactly what I needed.

“Finish your drink.  We’re going to the casino!”

I’ve never been to a casino before.  Never.  The only place I’ve ever seen the inside of a casino would be on television or in movies.  And let me tell ya..  Moncton ain’t Vegas!

Casino NB is much smaller than I envisioned it.  I was very much underwhelmed as I looked around.  I honestly was not expecting a scene from Ocean’s Eleven (although I did ask my buddy which one of us was playing Pitt, and which was Clooney.  Apparently neither of us were!), but I was still a tad disappointed with everything.

That was, until “the four” walked in.

<cover your eyes, Mum>

It’s a casino. It’s full of pretty women.  But these four looked like they had showed up to a red carpet event.  They completely stood out, and they knew it.  They walked around the place three or four times in their ultra-revealing dresses and high heels, causing every head at our poker table (including our female dealer) to turn and take notice.  (It didn’t hurt either that one of them didn’t realize that her mini dress was riding a little high in the back)  You know when the female dealer can’t help but make a comment that you’re not just imagining it.  After four walk-bys these goddesses must have left the building because we never saw them again.  Trust me.  I went looking.

For a Friday night, it was surprisingly quiet in the casino.  I had no trouble getting a drink at the bar.  Not once did I have to wait in any sort of line.  Friday was beautiful, and one of the bartenders suggested that maybe people had gone to their camps for the weekend.  She may very well have been correct.  The place wasn’t even close to being busy.

I never did play any of the games.  I guess I was a little reluctant to try to figure things out, especially given my current condition.  I’m not the brightest bulb in the pack when it comes to some of those games to begin with… but at that point… I just wasn’t comfortable with it.  That’s not to say that I didn’t have a good time.  I did!  I enjoyed watching my buddy get killed at some tables, yet clean up at others.  I enjoyed the music.  I enjoyed the drinks.  I definitely enjoyed the scenery.  And at the end of the night, I enjoyed leaving.

(As a side note, apparently casinos have a problem with telling you what time it is… there are no clocks.. they don’t announce last call… they just stop serving.  It came as quite a shock when I tried to order another double rum and Coke (yes, the Smirnoff Ice coolers has long since graduated into full-fledged  double rum and Cokes) and she just laughed at me… as if I had some way of knowing that it was whatever time it was!)

How would I rate my first experience at the casino?  It was good.  I wouldn’t necessarily rush back to repeat it again any time soon, though.  If I was with someone who wanted to go, sure.  But I don’t feel any great need to go back.  I did have a good time there (aside from an unpleasant experience at a certain blackjack table) but I don’t think that I’m really a casino kinda guy.