My ex dropped an emotional bomb on me last night. She wanted me to hear it from her, rather than be blindsided by it.
The man she’d been seeing for less than 4 months was going to be moving into the house with her and the kids.
My first reaction was WTF?!?!? No.. more accurately it was WHAT THE FUCK!?!? Nothing about their relationship was what you would consider “typical”… right from the manner in which they met, to the considerable age difference. It’s been something out of a movie script so far, and this wasn’t about to change that. She may not have wanted me to be blindsided, but the truth was I was going to be blindsided no matter what… it was just a matter of by whom.
I immediately picked up the phone and called her. “It was too soon… what about the kids?” It was late. She was already in bed. We weren’t going to resolve anything over the phone at that hour. So for the next 8 hours I sat at my work computer, and wrestled with all sorts of feelings. It was too soon. It was too soon. It just didn’t make any sense. What about the kids? I wasn’t worried about the guy moving in. I was worried about the guy moving in, and then moving out. They’ve already gone through me leaving the house. What if they got attached to him, and he left? It was too soon.
Unfortunately I wasn’t just thinking this. I was also sitting in front of a keyboard, so naturally I decided to put my thoughts into words. I wouldn’t say that I was a huge ass. I have a great relationship with my ex, and God knows… I’ve given her plenty of reasons to hate me, yet she does not. I wanted to tell her my concerns in a way that wouldn’t immediately put her on the defensive. Anyone who knows my ex surely understands the difficulty of that statement.
As I was driving home after work, I started to think about it some more. Then it occurred to me. There was a time in my life that I was prepared to do something very similar to what was happening here. I’m sure that people might have thought to themselves that it was too soon, or bad timing, or whatever. And I know that I would not have listened to them. I knew in my heart that it was right. And if it was good enough for me… I needed to find out. So I called my ex. She seemed surprised to hear from me at 7am.
“I have one question for you, and I need an honest answer please… Are you in love with him?”
There was no hesitation at all. “Yes” she told me. And I believed her. As sure as I believed the sun would eventually come up and melt all the snow, she was telling me the truth. She was in love with him, and apparently he with her.
“That’s all I need to know. I still think that it might be too soon, but I completely understand. Oh… and I wrote you a couple of emails last night.. please just ignore those…”
You can’t stand in the way of Love.
There’s really no point in even trying.